Carrie

Carrie
My mom was living the teenage life with wild fun. Yesterday she told me that the first Carrie was really good. I see, for an extrovert like her, she was loved by everyone in her high school. She was pretty much the valedictorian of South East Asia kind of high schools.
Yet she could admit she was everyone's friends but in truth she didn't have friends.
Funny thing was my friend that I had feelings for is mine now but he wasn't happy I was a loner in college. I am not loner. It's just that I don't fit into the typical culture of the group of girls there. Problem is, he considers all of them as his sisters, as good friends. Even when they point blank avoided my happy greetings. If they did try, it was more of a forced kind. They do it for him not me.
Yes
I am stupid
A better person would defend me
Instead of
Blaming me for victimizing myself
For being a shiny button then suddenly go on
An outburst
I am not
I forgave for many things.
When he broke up with his girlfriend
Which is our classmate
I gave him my shoulder to lean on
I listened to him
Chatted with him online almost every night
Made him laugh
Lift his spirits up
But I guess his heart
Will always be

With his ex
His first love
It hurts like acid running through me
When I had to listen to him
Talking about what makes him like her
Probably what makes him have a hard on
Yet
Now
He
Says he
Realizes he likes me
And fear to lose me
Is that so
I have been with you for over a year
I have accepted your bad treatment
I feel for Carrie
I think he is just toying with me
Then on graduation day
When I give my speech as a representative
Maybe a bucket of pigs blood would fall on me

I would like to have Carrie's powers
But when you are young
Pride gets over your head
And you can't take
Life and people who are in it longer



Than you.

I barely love you too

I wish he would lay in his room like this because of me

I wished he would see me like this

As if meeting his first love

And we would do this like in the British Indie movie "Submarine"