Dear February : Books Review for the Month of Love

Divulging The Mind Of Naomi

by Naominaoko

Ah February again means buying myself chocolates again.

Why did God invent the couple theory? 

I don't need a man.

Who could perform a heart transplant on me whenever a man breaks my heart?

Tired with the bullshit of those 3 words.

As a partial introvert and sorry slob that doesn't have Mr.Right in her life,

Books are my companions

It's a love hate relationship depending on certain aspects of the book.

Hence, I passed the month of February by reading  a couple of books.

This blog post will be my reviews of them

Before I got my hands on this book as I went on an Alice and Wonderland trip in my hectic library of new books I collect, I had read a couple of really boring books at the same time. Hence, I was skeptical on reading this book as well. However, I absolutely loved the first to the last pages of this book.

Alex is a boy who could see demons,he lives with his mentally ill mom and he doesn't have a father. Due to poverty and the lack of care from a distraught mother, Alex starts to see a demon called Ruen. He begun to see him on the day he was told of his father's death. Ruen became Alex's most important friend, he consumes his time, indoctrinate Alex with stories and guides Alex according to his own personal interest. Alex, on the other hand doesn't know he is used by Ruen whom, like your everyday childhood horror story about Poltergeist and possessions; wants to attain Alex's soul. I wouldn't exactly want to type out  summary of the whole book as that would be a spoiler. However, I can tell you that I thoroughly enjoyed this book along with the characters in it. 

I loved how the author wrote about Anya the psychiatrist and Alex. Both characters were given ample, supple and rich backgrounds about their pasts and how it intertwines with the present.

It was an easy read, not exactly the boring middle-school English kind of read but a good book that successfully connects the emotion of a boy ,Alex and his current misshapen situation. 

Anya was well writen too, I loved the parts about her daugther, the piano and music notes written by the ghost of her lost daughter whom had suffered immensely from schizophrenia since she was born. 

In a way, the author did a good job with the twist of the plot in the book, it got me reading until I had my ending. 

  

Patrick Ness . Who won't love this author? My first book by him which I feel in love with was When A Monster Calls. That is an extremely beautiful timepiece of a book which felt like reading words inscribed onto gold papers. Every word you indulge yourself in as you read on feels leaves you feeling that life can be magical if you looked through Patrick Ness's eyes. Hence I have bought this book , and once again I absolutely loved it. It starts of a bit slow but I applause the depth and attention to detail in the first few pages.

Its practically about a guy who wakes up in his deserted town, and finds out that he may not be entirely alone. It isnt hell nor is it purgatory but a scientific research progress that promises people a way out of pain, remembering a loss of a loved one and to live forever. This is definitely a good and interesting plot, more importantly Patrick Ness had executed the plot very well to the end. 

Herein lies the untimely kind of autobiography but not quite book about the author herself, Monica Holloway whom had faced a terrible background of broken twisted family with a tinge of father  perversion, mixed with shattered characters of her siblings and the silent mother who became the ignorant remarried mother. Before reading this book, I was in a state of anguish due to my own problems but once I read this book, man, I was ashamed. My life is like the sky, blue and sometimes grey when the day goes bad. However, Monica's life was filled with people who didn't give a shit about her problems. She lost her virginity, she hooked up with a psychotic playboy whom she thought loved her to bits with his soft sweet words and caresses. Yes, all the shit and now you throw in the bad relationships. 

I personally would recommend this book though it may not right up everyone's alley nor is it for the faint of heart, it certainly makes you love and cherish your own not so eff up family. It makes your typical arguments with your family members a normal teenager-y phase of raging hormones. 

You can learn a lot from Monica, especially how hard she tried to live and be happy when the old and new obstacles pill up on top of each other. I loved how accepting, supportive and strong-willed she is during her eldest sister's coming out of the closet moment and her mental break down after reliving her experience of father perversion and the silent mother.

Okayyyyyy, I admit I am a major Paulo Coelho fan. His writings are just so beautiful like a delicate vase made by gentle, wise and old hands of a potter. Eleven Minutes was really amazingly good.About being a dreamer only to realised you should be a realist as like is far from your dreams yet dreams can come true with patience, a lot of pain, a lot of lost love and men who comes and goes in your life. 

His words are absolutely beautiful yet true .Written like a man who had lived at an advanced age beyond his actual age, Paulo is like a wise old man whose heart had gone through many stabbings and healings overtime.

“It hurt when I lost each the various men I fell in love with. Now, though, I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone.

That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.” 

BY THE RIVER PIEDRA I SAT DOWN AND WEPT

I wan't as fascinated by this plot as I was with Eleven Minutes however , regardless, it is still a good book with a few good things you need to be informed about life. What bore me a tad bit was the difficulty of understanding some philosophical Catholic teachings.

“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.” 

“Love like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from below, tending to its roots keeping itself alive.” 

THE ALCHEMIST

Ok, this possibly the most hyped book by him internationally. Even my mother who gave up being an avid reader due to mere self-proclaimation of her level of laziness as she ages ; knew about this book by word of mouth just from the title. 

This book is not for the ones seeking immediate clarification, logical explanations and lightness. It is a slow paced story with interesting metaphors , in fact, the whole book is a metaphor and only if you understood the reason for being of this book, then will you realise with new fresh eyes that Paulo was describing himself, his life in metaphors and he leads you to see Robert Frost's poem The Road Not Taken which inevitably could go wrong as you journey in the middle of that road however , what you seek for in life only reveals itself at the end------surprisingly it is closer to home than you could ever imagine.

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.” 

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.”

I have mixed feelings for this book. Overall it was a moderately good book written in a poem style however, it lack depth to me. If was a bit deeper , in terms of the main character, I would utterly love this book. 

There are however a few instances where you could find some good excerpts or quotes from her.

“And the pomegranates,/
like memories, are bittersweet/
as we huddle together,/
remembering just how good/
life used to be” 

Okay, by comparison, you get why I love Paulo Coelho so much? His writing style has so much depth that its lyrical, filled with melancholy, like a music script written by Mozart, untainted beauty, the epitome of purity and innocence even when one is being abused and raped by the world each day.

The Dilemma of A Misunderstood Being

Hello dear humans

Somehow in my planet which apparently doesn't seem nor feel like Earth,

Being an only child feels like a crime

Especially among your friends living in a house filled with numerous annoying specimens called siblings.

I am not condemning anyone nor am I justifying how majestic and innocent  holier than thou only childs are.

I am sharing a thought, an opinion on how people generally see an only child .

The things I,  a Blogger and Only Child experienced

1. YOU ARE BLOODY PRIVILEGED.

I am really pissed when some people think I can afford everything just because I get more than the usual kid next door.

It's called good shopping tactics during sales.

2. YOU ARE ONLY TWO DIMENSIONAL.

Life happens to everyone, some learn earlier the harshness of reality due to circumstances while others will only learn it much later.

The main idea is understand that everyone will eventually grow in depth when both the good and bad occurs in each of our lives.

Do not assume an only child doesn't understand your hardships with your siblings etc etc.

3. YOU ARE SPOILED

Yes, we are because our parents only have one kid to pour out their love to, you can't blame us.

We will eventually grow up and understand that money grows on trees but it only belongs to the government,banks and rich  sly douchebags 

4.YOU ARE IMMATURE

Really now? I have seen and met immature people whom have to suffer the annoyance of siblings day and night.

My Conclusion:

Humans are flawed, and we each need to remember this from time to time. We need people to point out our flaws so it can be corrected. Never deem yourself superior over anyone.

Your achievements academically, socially and intellectually are not your true value.

Open your minds and heart. Be understanding. Learn from experience and the people around you.

Listen to their stories, let them listen to yours and from there upgrade to level 1000 in life.

Everyone have unspoken problems.

Don't judge the outside and the surfaces of their insides.

“How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.” 

Steve Maraboli

“If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” 

 Paulo Coelho

Freedom is an Ilusion

Freedom

the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

Words brought actions into play

In between those two words are thoughts.

It is thoughts that slowly blooms into actions.

There are two sides to it.

One adds kerosene to a fire and another consists of random thoughts.

When you were a child, let's say a child from a loving middle class family, 

you enjoyed what little freedom you had.

All the stupid things and words 

Did and said

was forgivable.

Life hadn't taught you that words have consequences.

Actions are elicited by words. 

Hence, I see words far superior than actions as it is, 

the power to awaken both the bad and good emotions humanly possible.

From the words of our mouths,to the emotions it gave rise,

Comes the actions.

When you grew up, became like any adolescent who proclaimed love for the opposite sex,

tried every sexual desires and curiosity buried deep within,

Had your first love, which broke your fragile young naive heart, 

Remember he or she broke it with words?

When you are an adult, heart heavy with regrets, past  lost opportunities and lost loves.

You feel constrained, shackled and restrained in your actions,words,opinions and thoughts.

Life becomes a list of debts, despair,broken relationships, failed dreams,faltered dreams,disappointments,insults,insinuations,oppression,depression,secrets,desperation,exasperation,lies,and deceit. 

Have we ever felt freedom?

Being 18 and free to do almost everything

Is not true freedom,

I once thought this is freedom, hanging out with friends, drinking a bit here and there (nothing severe or wild),

getting piercings my parents didn't know about 

was freedom.

I thought having a licence which entitled you to the freedom of driving to your hearts content was freedom

It never was freedom

You had to work to pay for petrol

Pay the road tax and toll.

Freedom of trade is precisely freedom of trade and no other freedom because within it the nature of the trade develops unhindered according to the inner rules of its life. Freedom of the courts is freedom of the courts if they follow their own inherent laws of right and not those of some other sphere, such as religion. Every particular sphere of freedom is the freedom of a particular sphere, just as every particular mode of life is the mode of life of a particular nature.

Karl Marx

Quoting from Marx, the topic freedom is a difficult one as to him there is freedom which only lies within a certain group or organisation or workplace.

Yet, I can't seem to completely agree with him. Even within each sphere therein lies the freedom to operate however they want according to their own personal profits.

What about the freedom of an individual?

My country is a hub for human trafficking

Tell me what is freedom?

Do women have freedom?
Do children have freedom?

Is there freedom to live out your lives ?

I do not see freedom in countries filled with political turmoils, constrained by religion and male chauvinist cultures.

Reality hinders freedom 

Yet, people hinder each others' freedom even further.

I may speak of freedom but I do understand that with complete freedom ,chaos exists.

Sometimes, its not freedom of the life we live .

The restrictive life.

We can attain freedom of the heart, our soul.

Are we freed from our past?

I am not

Hence, I may have the freedom to act,speak and think but there is nothing I could change about my past.
Freedom is an Illusion.


I want to redeem my past with the present which will alter the future.
The thing about the past are the memories that brought joy,sorrow,disappointments and worst of them all is helplessness.
You would carve out your own heart just to ask for forgiveness and to change the past.
I am on a journey to attain freedom of my soul.
To correct my past regrets, to forgive myself and forgive the pain others inflict on me.


If I succeed, then to me that's my freedom.
Maybe to others, freedom is the escapism from the iron grip of politics,politicians and the people who clamped down on their wings to fly in the blue sky.



In truth, the only thing in life that enjoys freedom is Love.

Living life.

Life

What make youths naive is the fear of taking risks. The fear of asking and knowing how to work your way to get what you want. 

I am one of those. But I have also learned that even if you failed while taking risks, its not failure. Its never failure unless you stopped picking yourself up every time you fall.

I met some people heading towards a suicidal direction. They  only think of how to make money, not just a minimum wage salary but an amount of a millionare. They have this mentality that their partners involved in the business idea are trustworthy even if it means investing your own savings into it. They only dream of owning a Maserati, Porsche, Audi, Bentley,Rolls Royce and etc. With a stack of money in hand, they could buy the world, buy women and live life. Ask yourself this, are your conscience clear once you find yourself on your deathbed a few decades down the road? Have you done things you regret, lost the person you love to materialistic things?

 Enjoy dying without any real friends and family you pushed away.

To me, I live for myself and repay those who supported me all the way. 

I want to experience everything and do what my heart tells me.

I want to be less selfish and more selfless.

I want to be willing to sacrifice my life for the greater good of others.

When you work for the life you want even if plans do not follow through always,

you can still collect every piece of happiness, disappointment, tears,laughter and moments ,then place them in a glass jar. 

Of course I do not have any rights on nagging people about how to live their life however, think of it as a blogger, your everyday human blogger ranting out her thoughts.It doesn't matter if you agree or disagree with me, what does matter is that there is a mutual understanding of respecting and accepting differing views between the blogger and reader.

I have always been a coward however, recently, I lost someone,hence I am taking more risks in life. I have nothing to lose. I need to evolve just as how caterpillars metamorphosised into butterflies. 

There are a few to-do things in my life, I may add more as the years past.

1.Paragliding in Austria,Switzerland(if there is one there) and somewhere with a beautiful beach and deep blue sea.

2.Jet-skiing

3.The roller coaster in Japan which is 90 degrees towards the ground

4.Earn enough money to travel around with friends

5. Earn enough money to bring my parents and grandparents for holidays before old age steals away their opportunity

6.To love someone again 

7.Read as many books my lifetime will allow

8.Learn as much new things, skills, languages and etc

9. Step out of my comfort zone more

10. To build a house and life together with that special someone

(this includes painting the walls of our house together, sleeping on the floor together with paint stained clothes, looking into each others eyes, kissing right there on the floor, and telling each other you are the one  I want to go on an adventure with.)

11. Do DIY stuff for the house. (furniture, interior design and etc)

12. To have the job that suits me.

13. To know what I want to do with my life

14. To be independent and responsible

15. To scream in joy with my close friends once we achieved what we dreamed of together.

16. To live in the present, let the past make me a better version of myself and let the future be.

17. To continue blogging

18.Write my own novel. Literary novel. 

19. Go to Bali and try out that ride which ejects you out in a tube.

20.Sexy body from hard work. Exercising and disciplining myself.

21.Hike my way up Nepal with Dad.

Over the month or so, I experienced more than I could have planned for. I felt fear and exhilaration for the unknown possibilities when I choose to step out of my comfort zone. I have nothing to lose.

I enjoyed the moments of being a daredevil with my friends. 

Overall, I had grown as a person. I want to grow more, enjoy everything and be grateful for the little things I take for granted.

I may not have an affirmative direction in life right now but I sense it's near. It's coming. Do not fear. Do not back out into the comfort zone again. Instead, take those toes into the region of risks, and never turn back.

Learn to Live.

The Journey towards Destiny

Towards Destiny

I have recently gone through a difficult time which had buried me deep into the Earth , gasping for air and crying over my internal pains. After experiencing such pains, physical pain is nothing comparable to it. It is a pain which requires time, love, compassion,mercy, forgiveness, and a long walk with God. I don't want to seem like an overly religious person; just like Paulo Coelho, I believe that all religions leads to the same one true God. In a way, you can say that I am starting my journey of finding myself, my destiny and to discover how to treat myself as well as others around me better. If love fills us and we constantly talk to our heart; be silent for a moment, silence those distraught thoughts,forget the day's problems, we will eventually hear a voice speaking to us. I lived a life of complete ignorance,always thought that the universe revolves around me and that life is good since for all my 19 years of my life, I gained more than I had lost. That's where I made a regrettable mistake which lead to this pain of losing a living breathing being.

When you gained someone, you may get used to their presence, and eventually your universe revolves between the two of you. You wouldn't have thought of preparing your heart for the leaving of this person. Once that person has decided he has to leave, you then fill your heart with regrets over the possible aspects and parts of that relationship which you could have corrected.Maybe it could save that connection you had with him. For a  few weeks, living becomes regrettable, you burst into tears without alarm, those memories of regrets and sweetness fills your mind and each day this routine repeats itself. As you try to process the lose, the words of harsh goodbyes and the complete cut-off from that human being  you placed your heart into his hands, in the end  your old self dies a little. I lived like this for a month but days felt like a year. The pain lingers since memories are always present because it happened. However, I grew through these trials , I humbled myself more, I listened more to others, learned from others, understood my faults , and I embraced change. I took rejections and bad days as methods to better myself. I reconnected with people who loved me when I was so starstruck by just one human being. Over time, I felt I want to encourage others who are feeling down as well, maybe not due to the same reasons but there are times that we need strangers to give us another reason to live. Up until now, I tried to encourage and hopefully passed on the message across to my friends in doubt that I am here to help even if I can't do much. 

This may seem hypocritical of me, how could I change so fast within such a short period after my lost. I met a certain person, whom asked me to ask myself the reasons behind every good actions. She has taught me to not overthink, made me realise many things and I felt that this meeting with her was something planned out by a greater writer who wrote the stories of lives on Earth, both the departed and the ones that are still here.

Many things happened, many people I have met and the accumulation of words from them nourished me. For all my life, I hadn't experience such a journey in which people,places,circumstances,words,events,emotions,memories,books and reflections could have such a profound way of changing my life. How absurd and naive I was when I thought my life was like a straight road. It never was, it may have seemed like it is just as how mirages in deserts twist our minds into believing the lies we want to be true. 

I know that I still have a long journey ahead of me but if only I knew all these, let it shape me, be my guide,be lessons  in handling the past relationship I cherished and lessons in being a better person, possibly a better friend, I wouldn't have lost what I had been blessed with. For some time, this idea haunts my mind and heart. By chance,however, I read a book which lead to many more books which in turn taught me this:

Live not in the past as those cannot be undone, live not for the future as it is something unseen, unknown and is subjected to change by the writer of our lives, instead live in this present moment since you can do something with the present. Live the present and remember death is hanging by your shoulders each day and may come for you. Do not have a shallow pre-concept whenever you chance upon the subject called Death. It is inevitable yet it is necessary since without it, the true meaning of life and the beauty of this life is lost in piles of to-do lists, mundane works and shallow trivial talks. Death reminds us to treat people around you especially those you love --right. It daunts us to live in the moment, gaze at the trees, the sky, the sun and ponder how wonderful everything that was made by the great writer. Lastly, Death gives us the push to come out of our comfort zones, to be fearless and do what your heart tells you. 

I am on the journey towards an unknown destiny. 

I have not pinpoint what I want to achieve in my life, all things are pretty hazy for me right now, its as if having all the pieces to a picture of a jigsaw puzzle but because of the complexity of that picture, it takes time to assemble those pieces correctly. 

One thing I had learned is that, I abandoned my dream to write, express myself and to be who I am over a reason I can't seem to remember. Sometimes , life is weird, how do you realise when you had lost that big chunk of yourself over the years? 

All I am certain of is that I will continue on this journey, at my own pace, writing about it either by blogging or by  my personal writings. This is the beginning. The wind is changing, the smell of rain of regrets

lingers shorter, the clouds clear,and the sun illuminates the blueness of the blue sky.

Oliver Nobody and the Winged Woods

                                                “ Oliver Nobody  and the  Winged Woods”  

As a peasant, whatever scraps given or found , either dirt or rubbish, you just have to set aside the most gullible sin among the Seven Deadly Sins known to mankind --- Pride…and keep the palms spread like doves’ wings, trapped in morbidity and the entrapments of men. It knows no blue sky but the dark grey of endless shower and coldness . My name is Oliver Nobody. I have no surname, no father to make me a man fit for  a structured society. We are all  born with structures, without it, there are no rigid and firm forms to uphold us when a tide of physical and emotional tests of life , are thrown into the boiling broth.
Open your eyes and see the make-up of a democratic nation , an open-minded society  and  social levels that give rise as well as power to our leaders, our so-called nucleus. The political system of our current world works like our bodies which are made up of various systems, from these systems, organs work together,and these organs are made up of tissues. Tissues are groups of similar looking and functioning cells. These cells are common working people, the basic unit of life. Yet, due to man’s own greed, every politician wants a part of us, the cells’ by-products,  and claim it as their own riches, just like a malignant cancer sucking away the life source of a healthy cell. I view our world of recessions  and political instability in a biological way. The malfunctioning  of our nucleus, the leaders, has lead to the fall of such systems. Now, peasants like us are borne without a structure, an instruction manual to lead a long happy life.

You might ask me why and how did I come to seem educated  from being a peasant but sometimes life is such a mystery  even if it is ironic most times. “ In the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity.” as quoted by Albert Einstein, I have found my glimmer of hope. All you need is curiosity and imagination that could feed you a lifetime no matter how deep your physical hunger may be. My story started  on a cold winter night, I was homeless, dirty, smelly and unwanted . Even a slight warmth emitting from the tender orange lights shining out of windows from rows of houses passing by, gave me a second of relief. I have forgotten when was the last time that I had eaten and silently pray to any god that may exist that I wouldn’t die of starvation. Regardless, I am still moving and breathing. My body didn’t fail me, though I am frail. Maybe there is a god who created my power-saving body. This body that stores any fats intake first and metabolize it last when all proteins and carbohydrates are gone, depleted by my starving poor body. Death awaits me if I don’t find food. Every living being fear death and the unknowns that lay ahead of it. Hence, I fear death but Mark Twain once wrote, “ Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear ,” and  these words continuously whispered in my mind as if  a permanent dial tone, droning behind the piece of meat in my head which kept me in my search to find the putative  meaning of life.  I did face my own death that winter day while walking away from that warmth and running away from a pack of guard dogs as I was trying to steal food from a rich man’s garden. I had lucked out by stumbling upon a deep,dark forest after a 15 minutes marathon fueled with fear of pain and gruesome death in the hands of hounds. My feet bleed from cuts sustained as I randomly ran, turned and stumbled on logs, broken twigs and whatever the wilderness  offers to trespassers like me. Lack of glucose, energy and dehydrated, I finally fainted into a place like hell if I was in fact dead and if hell was that dark. I drifted off like a phone shutting off due to low battery. My consciousness wanes. I am in deep slumber.

Sometimes reality is too harsh, and we want to believe in fantasy or maybe something  called an after-life. Out of that need, we believed that after-life was like seeing a white light at the end of the tunnel. I did see that light. What I didn’t understand was the sound  I heard behind this light, like a dove singing. Automatically I thought I was already in heaven or some sort of underworld vacation resort. That dream was broken by a cry of a chicken. The loudness of its voice opened my eyes to the bright sunlight and a large, upside down vulture-like looking shadow. I immediately shoot up and was ready to run from it out of fear  that it was Death in a black, long cloak, ready to rip my soul. If there were any spectators around, they would be laughing at a delusional young  man who tried to sprint away at the sight of a house that looks like the wings of a chicken.
The building was grey, dejected and lonely. The foundations of it was mere well-shaped blocks of wood that complimented one another like ‘lock and key’ hypothesis of enzymes and substrates. A strong kind of cement mixture acted like glue, and held the bricks together. It didn’t seem like anybody was living there and the intense smell of poop could be detected from the inside of it. Regardless of its state, at the angle at which I was standing at, it was emitting a motherly protective feeling. I couldn’t quite place the correct words to express these foreign emotions since I am a peasant and orphaned. In a way, it was like a cell wall of a plant. Strong, rigid from cellulose but porous and fully permeable, thereby allowing warmth, light and love from a mother hen to her chicks or letting all these flow into the wild. We can’t see it with the naked eye, but under a metaphorical microscope, the air once containing oxygen and other gases were replaced by these elements especially love. At that moment, I felt like I got a second chance in life and the old broken systems of the world were past me. If man wasn’t chasing papers of different colours like rainbows of the visible light spectrum, we wouldn’t be losing these trees I see around the cell wall structure. Enclosed by nature, I knew I was safe and far away from the destroyers  of  Mother Earth.

Time is just an illusion. Some physicist believed that theory while it was abhorred  by most left-brained population of zombies programmed by cancerous cells governing countries of our world.  As for me, time truly was an illusion here. I felt like a foreign substance trying to get into this interesting infrastructure in front of me. At a closer look, it was lined with little doors just around the height of my knees and each had a small window-like opening. It was  in fact , mini houses for chickens. In each house, it had a family of chickens. I curiously peeked into one of  these equally shaped small openings as if it were transport proteins.There were fluffy little chicks inside and an angry looking hen that tried to peck my eyes. Luckily, I fell back on my bottoms just in time to save my right eye. The hen was similar to the semi-permeable characteristic of the plasma membrane. It knew that I was an unwanted, probably armed and dangerous walking three-dimensional and breathing organism. I was amazed that even such simpler organisms could detect a certain danger approaching.

It was getting darker in these areas much earlier than those cities bombarded with lights twenty-four hours. I knew I had to find shelter to keep myself warm against the forest cold nights, so I walked behind the building in hopes of finding a bigger door that would lead me to a small cabin if there were farmers tending to the chickens and staying there. As I walked further down, I found a brown door with a green knob. I tried to open it but it wouldn’t bug. In despair and dire consequences, I gave my all and poured the remainders of my energy storage to break the door open but my insane actions was stopped by the sudden opening of the door by an elderly man. He was bespectacled, learned-looking and had an approachable countenance. He smiled at me and gestured for me to enter  without questioning my identity and my abrupt appearance in front of his doorsteps. With no other options left, I walked into a room made of interesting patterns of wood that made up the floors and walls of it. The room itself was like  combinations of  arts museums in some big cities. The patterns and decorations changes as I strolled into each smaller rooms. In one room, the wood walls were carved and fitted together in the shape of pentoses  and in another room the walls were like random stacks of  wood in shapes of hexoses. The eccentricity and randomness of these rooms intrigued me as I had never stepped into rooms of other people's houses except during the short time I had stayed in a foster home until I was legally eighteen. Even then, I was constantly bored from staring blankly at those grey or white painted walls with smudges of  dinners that was cooked years before my arrival there.
The last room I entered was the mini library. It’s walls were filled with shelves of books from the ground to the ceiling of the room. I could smell the daily brewing of coffee, knowledge and years of  younger days spent in here by the old man. As I glanced through his collection of books, he introduced himself and asked me if I had a place to stay. After years or even a lifetime of homelessness, shame was nothing but an itch on the small back of my skin. I told him my story and for the first time, I felt good that somebody was truly listening to me and not treating me like the brown mud beneath their feet. My fate had turned for the better and  if it was not for his words, I wouldn’t have spent  the changing seasons of each year with him as he taught me how to read, write, calculate, hunt in the wild and the importance of maintaining the balance of wildlife by unleashing the inner caveman in me and getting reacquainted with Mother Nature. He was like the father I never had and a tender mother figure with an authoritative side. I stayed by his side until the day he passed on. His last words to me was, “ Man had forgotten the foundation, the fundamentals  of being ‘human’. We lost compassion, empathy and the nerves that makes us sensitive to emotions. We have gone on an endless  killing spree on animals, cleaned out every inch of land from trees and let the poor starve on barren land. I have given you the gift of emotions and  trained you to differentiate between what is morally right and wrong. Mostly, I have given you knowledge. Knowledge is power.Most men use it to reap their own profits but I hope, you would take the road less taken by others and use your knowledge for the greater good. Reverse or revive as much as you can of the wildlife. It is the heaven on Earth that men never realized.”

Three years later, it was the same winter night but I am no longer a peasant but an advocate for the wildlife animals that needs protecting and a fighting chance against human greed. I’ve turned that winged-wood shaped building and the entire similar looking trees surrounding it into a national park in hopes to fulfill the old man’s last wishes to me and my love for the Mother Nature he had introduced to me. My name is Oliver Nobody who became a somebody in  the winged-woods and it is my meaning of life.