Dear February : Books Review for the Month of Love

Divulging The Mind Of Naomi

by Naominaoko

Ah February again means buying myself chocolates again.

Why did God invent the couple theory? 

I don't need a man.

Who could perform a heart transplant on me whenever a man breaks my heart?

Tired with the bullshit of those 3 words.

As a partial introvert and sorry slob that doesn't have Mr.Right in her life,

Books are my companions

It's a love hate relationship depending on certain aspects of the book.

Hence, I passed the month of February by reading  a couple of books.

This blog post will be my reviews of them

Before I got my hands on this book as I went on an Alice and Wonderland trip in my hectic library of new books I collect, I had read a couple of really boring books at the same time. Hence, I was skeptical on reading this book as well. However, I absolutely loved the first to the last pages of this book.

Alex is a boy who could see demons,he lives with his mentally ill mom and he doesn't have a father. Due to poverty and the lack of care from a distraught mother, Alex starts to see a demon called Ruen. He begun to see him on the day he was told of his father's death. Ruen became Alex's most important friend, he consumes his time, indoctrinate Alex with stories and guides Alex according to his own personal interest. Alex, on the other hand doesn't know he is used by Ruen whom, like your everyday childhood horror story about Poltergeist and possessions; wants to attain Alex's soul. I wouldn't exactly want to type out  summary of the whole book as that would be a spoiler. However, I can tell you that I thoroughly enjoyed this book along with the characters in it. 

I loved how the author wrote about Anya the psychiatrist and Alex. Both characters were given ample, supple and rich backgrounds about their pasts and how it intertwines with the present.

It was an easy read, not exactly the boring middle-school English kind of read but a good book that successfully connects the emotion of a boy ,Alex and his current misshapen situation. 

Anya was well writen too, I loved the parts about her daugther, the piano and music notes written by the ghost of her lost daughter whom had suffered immensely from schizophrenia since she was born. 

In a way, the author did a good job with the twist of the plot in the book, it got me reading until I had my ending. 

  

Patrick Ness . Who won't love this author? My first book by him which I feel in love with was When A Monster Calls. That is an extremely beautiful timepiece of a book which felt like reading words inscribed onto gold papers. Every word you indulge yourself in as you read on feels leaves you feeling that life can be magical if you looked through Patrick Ness's eyes. Hence I have bought this book , and once again I absolutely loved it. It starts of a bit slow but I applause the depth and attention to detail in the first few pages.

Its practically about a guy who wakes up in his deserted town, and finds out that he may not be entirely alone. It isnt hell nor is it purgatory but a scientific research progress that promises people a way out of pain, remembering a loss of a loved one and to live forever. This is definitely a good and interesting plot, more importantly Patrick Ness had executed the plot very well to the end. 

Herein lies the untimely kind of autobiography but not quite book about the author herself, Monica Holloway whom had faced a terrible background of broken twisted family with a tinge of father  perversion, mixed with shattered characters of her siblings and the silent mother who became the ignorant remarried mother. Before reading this book, I was in a state of anguish due to my own problems but once I read this book, man, I was ashamed. My life is like the sky, blue and sometimes grey when the day goes bad. However, Monica's life was filled with people who didn't give a shit about her problems. She lost her virginity, she hooked up with a psychotic playboy whom she thought loved her to bits with his soft sweet words and caresses. Yes, all the shit and now you throw in the bad relationships. 

I personally would recommend this book though it may not right up everyone's alley nor is it for the faint of heart, it certainly makes you love and cherish your own not so eff up family. It makes your typical arguments with your family members a normal teenager-y phase of raging hormones. 

You can learn a lot from Monica, especially how hard she tried to live and be happy when the old and new obstacles pill up on top of each other. I loved how accepting, supportive and strong-willed she is during her eldest sister's coming out of the closet moment and her mental break down after reliving her experience of father perversion and the silent mother.

Okayyyyyy, I admit I am a major Paulo Coelho fan. His writings are just so beautiful like a delicate vase made by gentle, wise and old hands of a potter. Eleven Minutes was really amazingly good.About being a dreamer only to realised you should be a realist as like is far from your dreams yet dreams can come true with patience, a lot of pain, a lot of lost love and men who comes and goes in your life. 

His words are absolutely beautiful yet true .Written like a man who had lived at an advanced age beyond his actual age, Paulo is like a wise old man whose heart had gone through many stabbings and healings overtime.

“It hurt when I lost each the various men I fell in love with. Now, though, I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone.

That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.” 

BY THE RIVER PIEDRA I SAT DOWN AND WEPT

I wan't as fascinated by this plot as I was with Eleven Minutes however , regardless, it is still a good book with a few good things you need to be informed about life. What bore me a tad bit was the difficulty of understanding some philosophical Catholic teachings.

“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.” 

“Love like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from below, tending to its roots keeping itself alive.” 

THE ALCHEMIST

Ok, this possibly the most hyped book by him internationally. Even my mother who gave up being an avid reader due to mere self-proclaimation of her level of laziness as she ages ; knew about this book by word of mouth just from the title. 

This book is not for the ones seeking immediate clarification, logical explanations and lightness. It is a slow paced story with interesting metaphors , in fact, the whole book is a metaphor and only if you understood the reason for being of this book, then will you realise with new fresh eyes that Paulo was describing himself, his life in metaphors and he leads you to see Robert Frost's poem The Road Not Taken which inevitably could go wrong as you journey in the middle of that road however , what you seek for in life only reveals itself at the end------surprisingly it is closer to home than you could ever imagine.

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.” 

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.”

I have mixed feelings for this book. Overall it was a moderately good book written in a poem style however, it lack depth to me. If was a bit deeper , in terms of the main character, I would utterly love this book. 

There are however a few instances where you could find some good excerpts or quotes from her.

“And the pomegranates,/
like memories, are bittersweet/
as we huddle together,/
remembering just how good/
life used to be” 

Okay, by comparison, you get why I love Paulo Coelho so much? His writing style has so much depth that its lyrical, filled with melancholy, like a music script written by Mozart, untainted beauty, the epitome of purity and innocence even when one is being abused and raped by the world each day.

The Dilemma of A Misunderstood Being

Hello dear humans

Somehow in my planet which apparently doesn't seem nor feel like Earth,

Being an only child feels like a crime

Especially among your friends living in a house filled with numerous annoying specimens called siblings.

I am not condemning anyone nor am I justifying how majestic and innocent  holier than thou only childs are.

I am sharing a thought, an opinion on how people generally see an only child .

The things I,  a Blogger and Only Child experienced

1. YOU ARE BLOODY PRIVILEGED.

I am really pissed when some people think I can afford everything just because I get more than the usual kid next door.

It's called good shopping tactics during sales.

2. YOU ARE ONLY TWO DIMENSIONAL.

Life happens to everyone, some learn earlier the harshness of reality due to circumstances while others will only learn it much later.

The main idea is understand that everyone will eventually grow in depth when both the good and bad occurs in each of our lives.

Do not assume an only child doesn't understand your hardships with your siblings etc etc.

3. YOU ARE SPOILED

Yes, we are because our parents only have one kid to pour out their love to, you can't blame us.

We will eventually grow up and understand that money grows on trees but it only belongs to the government,banks and rich  sly douchebags 

4.YOU ARE IMMATURE

Really now? I have seen and met immature people whom have to suffer the annoyance of siblings day and night.

My Conclusion:

Humans are flawed, and we each need to remember this from time to time. We need people to point out our flaws so it can be corrected. Never deem yourself superior over anyone.

Your achievements academically, socially and intellectually are not your true value.

Open your minds and heart. Be understanding. Learn from experience and the people around you.

Listen to their stories, let them listen to yours and from there upgrade to level 1000 in life.

Everyone have unspoken problems.

Don't judge the outside and the surfaces of their insides.

“How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.” 

Steve Maraboli

“If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” 

 Paulo Coelho

The Journey towards Destiny

Towards Destiny

I have recently gone through a difficult time which had buried me deep into the Earth , gasping for air and crying over my internal pains. After experiencing such pains, physical pain is nothing comparable to it. It is a pain which requires time, love, compassion,mercy, forgiveness, and a long walk with God. I don't want to seem like an overly religious person; just like Paulo Coelho, I believe that all religions leads to the same one true God. In a way, you can say that I am starting my journey of finding myself, my destiny and to discover how to treat myself as well as others around me better. If love fills us and we constantly talk to our heart; be silent for a moment, silence those distraught thoughts,forget the day's problems, we will eventually hear a voice speaking to us. I lived a life of complete ignorance,always thought that the universe revolves around me and that life is good since for all my 19 years of my life, I gained more than I had lost. That's where I made a regrettable mistake which lead to this pain of losing a living breathing being.

When you gained someone, you may get used to their presence, and eventually your universe revolves between the two of you. You wouldn't have thought of preparing your heart for the leaving of this person. Once that person has decided he has to leave, you then fill your heart with regrets over the possible aspects and parts of that relationship which you could have corrected.Maybe it could save that connection you had with him. For a  few weeks, living becomes regrettable, you burst into tears without alarm, those memories of regrets and sweetness fills your mind and each day this routine repeats itself. As you try to process the lose, the words of harsh goodbyes and the complete cut-off from that human being  you placed your heart into his hands, in the end  your old self dies a little. I lived like this for a month but days felt like a year. The pain lingers since memories are always present because it happened. However, I grew through these trials , I humbled myself more, I listened more to others, learned from others, understood my faults , and I embraced change. I took rejections and bad days as methods to better myself. I reconnected with people who loved me when I was so starstruck by just one human being. Over time, I felt I want to encourage others who are feeling down as well, maybe not due to the same reasons but there are times that we need strangers to give us another reason to live. Up until now, I tried to encourage and hopefully passed on the message across to my friends in doubt that I am here to help even if I can't do much. 

This may seem hypocritical of me, how could I change so fast within such a short period after my lost. I met a certain person, whom asked me to ask myself the reasons behind every good actions. She has taught me to not overthink, made me realise many things and I felt that this meeting with her was something planned out by a greater writer who wrote the stories of lives on Earth, both the departed and the ones that are still here.

Many things happened, many people I have met and the accumulation of words from them nourished me. For all my life, I hadn't experience such a journey in which people,places,circumstances,words,events,emotions,memories,books and reflections could have such a profound way of changing my life. How absurd and naive I was when I thought my life was like a straight road. It never was, it may have seemed like it is just as how mirages in deserts twist our minds into believing the lies we want to be true. 

I know that I still have a long journey ahead of me but if only I knew all these, let it shape me, be my guide,be lessons  in handling the past relationship I cherished and lessons in being a better person, possibly a better friend, I wouldn't have lost what I had been blessed with. For some time, this idea haunts my mind and heart. By chance,however, I read a book which lead to many more books which in turn taught me this:

Live not in the past as those cannot be undone, live not for the future as it is something unseen, unknown and is subjected to change by the writer of our lives, instead live in this present moment since you can do something with the present. Live the present and remember death is hanging by your shoulders each day and may come for you. Do not have a shallow pre-concept whenever you chance upon the subject called Death. It is inevitable yet it is necessary since without it, the true meaning of life and the beauty of this life is lost in piles of to-do lists, mundane works and shallow trivial talks. Death reminds us to treat people around you especially those you love --right. It daunts us to live in the moment, gaze at the trees, the sky, the sun and ponder how wonderful everything that was made by the great writer. Lastly, Death gives us the push to come out of our comfort zones, to be fearless and do what your heart tells you. 

I am on the journey towards an unknown destiny. 

I have not pinpoint what I want to achieve in my life, all things are pretty hazy for me right now, its as if having all the pieces to a picture of a jigsaw puzzle but because of the complexity of that picture, it takes time to assemble those pieces correctly. 

One thing I had learned is that, I abandoned my dream to write, express myself and to be who I am over a reason I can't seem to remember. Sometimes , life is weird, how do you realise when you had lost that big chunk of yourself over the years? 

All I am certain of is that I will continue on this journey, at my own pace, writing about it either by blogging or by  my personal writings. This is the beginning. The wind is changing, the smell of rain of regrets

lingers shorter, the clouds clear,and the sun illuminates the blueness of the blue sky.