Carrie

Carrie
My mom was living the teenage life with wild fun. Yesterday she told me that the first Carrie was really good. I see, for an extrovert like her, she was loved by everyone in her high school. She was pretty much the valedictorian of South East Asia kind of high schools.
Yet she could admit she was everyone's friends but in truth she didn't have friends.
Funny thing was my friend that I had feelings for is mine now but he wasn't happy I was a loner in college. I am not loner. It's just that I don't fit into the typical culture of the group of girls there. Problem is, he considers all of them as his sisters, as good friends. Even when they point blank avoided my happy greetings. If they did try, it was more of a forced kind. They do it for him not me.
Yes
I am stupid
A better person would defend me
Instead of
Blaming me for victimizing myself
For being a shiny button then suddenly go on
An outburst
I am not
I forgave for many things.
When he broke up with his girlfriend
Which is our classmate
I gave him my shoulder to lean on
I listened to him
Chatted with him online almost every night
Made him laugh
Lift his spirits up
But I guess his heart
Will always be

With his ex
His first love
It hurts like acid running through me
When I had to listen to him
Talking about what makes him like her
Probably what makes him have a hard on
Yet
Now
He
Says he
Realizes he likes me
And fear to lose me
Is that so
I have been with you for over a year
I have accepted your bad treatment
I feel for Carrie
I think he is just toying with me
Then on graduation day
When I give my speech as a representative
Maybe a bucket of pigs blood would fall on me

I would like to have Carrie's powers
But when you are young
Pride gets over your head
And you can't take
Life and people who are in it longer



Than you.

I barely love you too

I wish he would lay in his room like this because of me

I wished he would see me like this

As if meeting his first love

And we would do this like in the British Indie movie "Submarine"

The wrong feelings.

I listened to this when I had wrong feelings for a friend. 

Bombay Bicycle Club // You Already Know 


the moment we forgot we were just good friends
i moved my arm her face went red again
one more bus home 
another silent weekend

said love was painted gold
like all things growing old
the paint peels and slowly falls
you already know (3 x)

looking out the glass 
always sit together
we both know we could be someone better
not with our heads like London weather

said love was painted gold
like all things growing old
the paint peels and slowly falls
you already know (4 x)

So to cure my heart

I went on an adventure

Music adventure

And drown almost every night after acting that I felt nothing for this friend

Lit a candle or two 

Read a sad biography

Read poems

Haruki Murakami's book Norwegian Wood became my escape.

Watanabe felt what I felt

Best friend killed himself

due to a girlfriend that may have liked Watanabe 

Naoko ended up committing suicide in a forest during winter

As snow fell heavily in the darkness of night

The moon shone

It was a sign of her end

Watanabe could never forget her

Until another girl comes into the story

I feel like that girl

How can I surpass my friend's first love

What my heart wants is this

Starting Anew

New Naomi

I haven't been blogging for a year or more. Like really blogging. When I came back and read my old posts. I think to myself  " How childish was I? Yet childhood and adolescence are great years of freedom."  

So this is the New Naomi. And practically bits of my style as an individual. I love to read. Very,very,very much. I admit, I spend most of my money working part-time on ordering books that only Kinokuniya sells. I am obsessed with that bookstore. If you haven't tried their shipment services,you should ! Being an avid reader, you love your books and even an imperfection annoys you. They nailed it for a picky person like me. 

One of the websites I would love to order stuff from is Etsy. 

I am currently into poems.

And biographies of people. 

My past bio lecturer books.

Uniqlo is finally here

However their Japan and Hong Kong stores have cooler stuff.

Mom said we will go back to Japan for awhile

Then again, her work is always the barrier

Well, life and work.

I am going to Australia though

And maybe go back-packing with my best friends to Japan next year if mom can't make it. 

Then again my dad is the only one that understand their train system.

Probably, with my friends. We will be the wannabe hipsters , on piggy bank budget and lost in translation. 

They shall not trust my capabilities in conversing in other languages.

My best is German since it's almost like English but not so as well.

Vintage

       Writing Letters

I prefer writing letters over emails.

Just as how I prefer Google + over Facebook

I would love to write letters to people all over the world

The idea of having pen pals has lost its touch due to the F.

I think I may after my A levels.

It would be nice for someone to send me pressed flowers of spring

And maybe of the beauty of their country every season of the year.