Finding Who I Am and Learning to Love myself

The Ending That Didn't Happen

 

 

 

I am what you would say recovering.

I had really committed myself to have a relationship such as shown in the picture above

And it just didn't work out

We are too young, too immatured

He miss his single life, my presence only stunts his extrovert lifestyle

I placed all my problems on him

He stopped sharing his problems

because maybe he felt I would not listen to him anymore

We grew distant

Maybe for him , I was a sour sweet he doesn't want to accidentally taste once more

He didn't like that I was jealous of his activities involving many girls.

I would get jealous over the fact that he doesn't smile

Like he does when he is with them

I wondered why

He said he wants a girl that has her own life and friends

A girl willing to sacrifice her time for him

Let me just tell you why I couldn't be that girl when I actually am if I had learned to be more shameless

I lived my life

to please my parents

I don't go against them

I refrained from going out and having boyfriends

Because I live in constant fear of my parents

Yes

My life up till now is a monotonous one

Up till him,

I learned to bite the bullet

I learned to heck every shyness

Every fear

To get out of my comfort zone

Make new friends

Go out

More

Actually

Learn

to

have

A

LIFE

 

 

 

Hence, I have open up my heart more to people

I have tried my best to be friends with every new people I meet

I am job hunting as well

Enquiring for jobs

Doing my own thing

Being more independent

Being more of the Naomi I envisioned I am

But derailed from that vision

Because I was brought up

Under a very protective family

 

 

 

 

I will be learning how to drive, hopefully getting my license soon

I will show my parents that I am capable of not killing myself

And then I could go on road trips with my close friends

My sisters

The people who made me believe,

In this Naomi

That I am that girl

With her own life, her own friends and I have always been willing

to sacrifice for the people I love

If he doesn't see that

Its his lost

Not mine

I will be stronger each day

I will pick myself up

Love myself for who I am

And not compare myself with girls that my possible boyfriend are with

I am an overthinker

It goes with my very highly epic and expressive

IMAGINATION

There are more cons to it then pros

If I let myself overthink,work up a motherboard overload in my mind

Would burn out, white smokes, hot heart.

Who suffers and bears the hurt?

ME

 

 

How My Thinking Changed As Time Passed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fin

 

I will go on the journey of living my life the way I want to for all these years.

I will learn to find God and myself.

I will find the goods and flaws within me

And I will come to love myself eventually

And be happy that someone loves me for me

And not to get jealous over his friends which are girls

And to learn to trust him.

 

 

2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To My Friends:

 

 

Thank You from the depths of my heart for the support and love you gave me.

Thank You for understanding that I could not be there for you

As I was struggling with my own demons.

My own sorrow

Truly, thank you for being there for me.

For the Laughter, Happiness and Companionship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

STAY CHIC MY BABES AND HUNKS

 

 

LOTS OF LOVE

 

NAOMI

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So Naomi: