University.Undecided Majors. Adulthood

The big world 

It's been a few months since I last blogged. If you look at this fact at another perspective aside from being too busy with life ,  it's  just means I hadn't got enough to talk about.

The decision between which universities to accept. The decision between United Kingdom or Australia. Those were the beginning of an end to a segment of my life. An episode of a TV series to be exact.

Well,  here I am  almost 5 over months since my orientation. Many things have changed within me. Yet, many things are still me. I met colourful characters in university. I experienced how tough it is living alone , being almost an hour away from university if you add up all the travelling it takes. 

I did stupid things. That's pretty predictable given the high probabilities of  'young adults' expressing adamantly  about having opportunities to do 'adult fun stuff' . The end of that ideal 'young adult' life was not as envisioned in everyone's minds. Eventually, the superego takes charge and we are shoot back to reality. Life is more than the wild things in life. More than trying to live life in each country as if it's Las Vegas. More than doing things, taking actions in order to enhance oneself to the socialite elitist level. 

Almost every failed relationship and one-sided  romantic emotions are given birth in university . In fact, it is the university environment that accentuates those feelings grown, nurtured, feed and aborted. One day , you may fall for one dude, the next another because the world is filled with many fishes.All personally attractive to you. I would predict that the end of almost every university story is realising you fell for your friend. Woman or man. Who cares. The romantic attachment is present regardless of how invisible and unconscious it is. 

University is bloody amazing, Aside from the exams and workload. I can relate to my dad now whenever he reminisce his university life  Every day, life is like a plain white canvas which gets splashed with different pots of colours by the various people and experiences encountered. 

I do wish that university phase in life would never end. 

One thing was certain. University is the starting point to meet people, to incorporate their matured opinions about life into your life , to learn from people's stories , to be cultured about how big the world really is and it emphasizes how small we are . 

Is it just me or is it  a phase? That I became more alert, observant to people's facial expressions, tone of voice,intentions, actions and body language as each day in university passes me by as fast as each breath I take. 

I could detect contempt, racial disparity, racial bias, pride, social exclusion, social prejudice, ethnocentrism, undisclosed personal jealousy, anger , impatience, crudeness, dishonesty , fake facial muscle pulls and lots of nice polite bollocks. EXCUSE THE LANGUAGE. 

Here lies the following social cliched problems in society

1. Racial group unity. National group unity.

It does happen however you would do injustice and failed to act fairly if you start judging that particular race. Keep an open mind, open heart. There are individuals which do go against such normalcy. These is due to how environment shaped them, their friends, the schools they went to and their interactions with various races throughout their lives. I met a few of them and they made me change how I viewed their race. I realised my immaturity. 

2. I am Asian but not all Asians are from China. 

3. Not all Asians , Not all China students are incapable of fluency in English. 

Please , that is obvious racism there.

4. You need to be that girl some 'groups' would want to recruit into their hot girls societal vicious circle. Yes, sorority kinds . 

YOU ARE HOT WITHOUT SUCH RECRUITMENT

5. The User.

There will definitely be one or two user friends. A few stalkers . A few awkward greetings. And MANY acting going on. MANY shadow walking past a solid physical object which is your body. Apparently these types can overlook a moving human being, smiling and waving amiably to them. 

My advice is to go up to them and give them some important vision advice. Tell them to buy those heat vision goggles. 

6. Ethnocentrism . 

Aside from the popular phrase 'white supremacy' which does occur, other races do exercise ethnocentrism. They forgot the essence of their being as Homo Sapiens  . Just tolearate them. Tolerance can bring you further into peaceful existence with others. Now, I sound like some monk but it's pretty much a rational thing to do. Why try to itch a spot and provoke a precarious situation when you can karate block them?

7. The Proud.

I am serious. There are people who thinks they are brilliant. Just absolutely brilliant, blessed with physical perfection and narcissistic beyond the normal levels.

Here comes my dilemma of choosing subjects to keep a few majors open for me to specialise in one of them much later :

1. I am unsure of getting a transfer into med school. These days, everyone wants to be a doctor and they may succeed in their attempts to gain noble social status. However, I believe to be a doctor it means saving as many lives to save your tears from drying out . It comforts your heart knowing that hope is not lost even when humanity is on the losing end .

2. Pathology or Major in Immunology and Microbiology.

To be an actual pathologist you need to get into med school. Immunology and Microbiology is my second choice if I don't think I want a degree in just pathology. I AM STILL SO UNCERTAIN! 

I know science is for me but I do get the inkling feeling to be a carefree writer trying to have a breakthrough and pay back my university fees to my parents. 

Conclusion : Life is uncertain. I would write a better end to this blog if it wasn't for the sudden pang of laziness hitting me and the sleepiness of night time. 

My BFF's 20th Birthday! Ideas for your own Handmade gifts.

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY 

HONEY BABY YZ

Here are some possible inspirations or ideas for your friends.

Trust me, you don't need to throw money around for an amazing gift.

IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS

So, I live in the Southern part of  the banana shaped section of Malaysia, really near Singapore. Yeah, you might be wondering why suffer over getting presents for a friend when I could just get my ass over to Singapore. First, I can't freely go into Singapore without apparently my parents permission. Second, it's expensive especially when you factor in the 7% GST. 

My dilemma might seem pretty unfortunate plus I can't drive to the big city which is Kuala Lumpur ( for non-Malaysians ease of understanding) as I do not have a driving licence yet. The story behind that is pretty funny and I shall not delve into it.

  

THE JOURNEY INTO MY IDEA

Hence, I got her this bunny soft toy which I love too.

Then I envisioned the bunny holding colourful balloons at both its' bunny hands as it held a big red board which will be her birthday card.

We will both be parting ways, living a life of a university student soon at possibly either different countries or the same country. This itself, gave me the idea of printing out Google Maps of the places we will be furthering our studies.

The flower background was handmade by me too. Just use your average A4 paper, then use your water colours to randomly paint shapes of haphazard circles, the important part of this is painting dark strong parts of a colour than mixing soft delicate parts naturally with it together.This helps to create the effect of a more 3D flower since nothing has just one monotone colour. Then take a standard ballpoint pen to sketch , roughen up the flowers, thereby creating necessary shadows on its petals.

The colourful printed tapes and the old-ish ,hipster-y stickers you see were bought and collected over time by me. The brown string can be bought for RM 5 for 120 metres at Daiso.

So I made a pocket envelope photo album. It isn't hard. All you need is some coloured paper, double-sided tape, some decorations even magazine cutouts and lastly, print out pictures of important memories.

I love quotes especially from books ,hence I choose my quotes online and just wrote them with a standard black Sharpie.

I initially thought of getting her real flowers but since another friend was doing that, I just found a tutorial on how to make these big beautiful paper flowers.

This was by far the hardest part of her gift as the hot glue gun I bought was broken.

I actually had to unscrew the whole thing and try to fix it.

It was a failure , hence I came up with an easy, transportable and safe method of melting my glue sticks in the comforts of my own room. The method didn't require me to contaminate the metal pots used for cooking with glue. I was worried if it could be poisonous even if I made sure to wash it well.

After thinking it over and remembering how a woman melted her MAC lipstick on a spoon over a burning candle, I carried the same procedure out except with glue stick and a small sacrifice of getting burnt from the hot sticky glue from time to time. 

The end results of all that, sweat, brain cells, glue stick fumes and glue burns was these flowers.

Sorry, my room is very windy,thus the position of the petals are as such.

Once again, these are some of the ideas I did for my BFF. You may modify it for your own use. 

The true happiness of all these hard work is the smile I was able to make on her face.

ITS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.

NOT MONEY

SPECIAL THANKS TO:

MY BFF YZ, THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME.

FOR THE MANY TIMES WHEN I NEEDED YOUR HELP

FOR THE TIMES THAT I WASN'T SUCH A GREAT FRIEND

FOR THE ROUGHT TIMES WE HAD

FOR UNDERSTANDING ME AND 

FOR BELIEVING AND FOR NOT GIVING UP ON US.

HERE IS TO US

I AM PARTLY EXCITED TO START UNIVERSITY

YET SAYING ALL THE GOODBYES

MADE ME THANK GOD FOR MY LIFE IN MY COUNTRY

THE PEOPLE I MET

I FELL IN LOVE WITH

GOT MY HEART BROKEN OVER

THE FRIENDS  I LOST

AND BEST OF ALL THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHO STOOD BY ME 

AND LOVED ME DURING THOSE LOW MOMENTS.

LET ME BE YOUR BRIDESMAID AND I SHALL BE YOURS TOO!

Love you. 

Dear February : Books Review for the Month of Love

Divulging The Mind Of Naomi

by Naominaoko

Ah February again means buying myself chocolates again.

Why did God invent the couple theory? 

I don't need a man.

Who could perform a heart transplant on me whenever a man breaks my heart?

Tired with the bullshit of those 3 words.

As a partial introvert and sorry slob that doesn't have Mr.Right in her life,

Books are my companions

It's a love hate relationship depending on certain aspects of the book.

Hence, I passed the month of February by reading  a couple of books.

This blog post will be my reviews of them

Before I got my hands on this book as I went on an Alice and Wonderland trip in my hectic library of new books I collect, I had read a couple of really boring books at the same time. Hence, I was skeptical on reading this book as well. However, I absolutely loved the first to the last pages of this book.

Alex is a boy who could see demons,he lives with his mentally ill mom and he doesn't have a father. Due to poverty and the lack of care from a distraught mother, Alex starts to see a demon called Ruen. He begun to see him on the day he was told of his father's death. Ruen became Alex's most important friend, he consumes his time, indoctrinate Alex with stories and guides Alex according to his own personal interest. Alex, on the other hand doesn't know he is used by Ruen whom, like your everyday childhood horror story about Poltergeist and possessions; wants to attain Alex's soul. I wouldn't exactly want to type out  summary of the whole book as that would be a spoiler. However, I can tell you that I thoroughly enjoyed this book along with the characters in it. 

I loved how the author wrote about Anya the psychiatrist and Alex. Both characters were given ample, supple and rich backgrounds about their pasts and how it intertwines with the present.

It was an easy read, not exactly the boring middle-school English kind of read but a good book that successfully connects the emotion of a boy ,Alex and his current misshapen situation. 

Anya was well writen too, I loved the parts about her daugther, the piano and music notes written by the ghost of her lost daughter whom had suffered immensely from schizophrenia since she was born. 

In a way, the author did a good job with the twist of the plot in the book, it got me reading until I had my ending. 

  

Patrick Ness . Who won't love this author? My first book by him which I feel in love with was When A Monster Calls. That is an extremely beautiful timepiece of a book which felt like reading words inscribed onto gold papers. Every word you indulge yourself in as you read on feels leaves you feeling that life can be magical if you looked through Patrick Ness's eyes. Hence I have bought this book , and once again I absolutely loved it. It starts of a bit slow but I applause the depth and attention to detail in the first few pages.

Its practically about a guy who wakes up in his deserted town, and finds out that he may not be entirely alone. It isnt hell nor is it purgatory but a scientific research progress that promises people a way out of pain, remembering a loss of a loved one and to live forever. This is definitely a good and interesting plot, more importantly Patrick Ness had executed the plot very well to the end. 

Herein lies the untimely kind of autobiography but not quite book about the author herself, Monica Holloway whom had faced a terrible background of broken twisted family with a tinge of father  perversion, mixed with shattered characters of her siblings and the silent mother who became the ignorant remarried mother. Before reading this book, I was in a state of anguish due to my own problems but once I read this book, man, I was ashamed. My life is like the sky, blue and sometimes grey when the day goes bad. However, Monica's life was filled with people who didn't give a shit about her problems. She lost her virginity, she hooked up with a psychotic playboy whom she thought loved her to bits with his soft sweet words and caresses. Yes, all the shit and now you throw in the bad relationships. 

I personally would recommend this book though it may not right up everyone's alley nor is it for the faint of heart, it certainly makes you love and cherish your own not so eff up family. It makes your typical arguments with your family members a normal teenager-y phase of raging hormones. 

You can learn a lot from Monica, especially how hard she tried to live and be happy when the old and new obstacles pill up on top of each other. I loved how accepting, supportive and strong-willed she is during her eldest sister's coming out of the closet moment and her mental break down after reliving her experience of father perversion and the silent mother.

Okayyyyyy, I admit I am a major Paulo Coelho fan. His writings are just so beautiful like a delicate vase made by gentle, wise and old hands of a potter. Eleven Minutes was really amazingly good.About being a dreamer only to realised you should be a realist as like is far from your dreams yet dreams can come true with patience, a lot of pain, a lot of lost love and men who comes and goes in your life. 

His words are absolutely beautiful yet true .Written like a man who had lived at an advanced age beyond his actual age, Paulo is like a wise old man whose heart had gone through many stabbings and healings overtime.

“It hurt when I lost each the various men I fell in love with. Now, though, I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone.

That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.” 

BY THE RIVER PIEDRA I SAT DOWN AND WEPT

I wan't as fascinated by this plot as I was with Eleven Minutes however , regardless, it is still a good book with a few good things you need to be informed about life. What bore me a tad bit was the difficulty of understanding some philosophical Catholic teachings.

“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.” 

“Love like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from below, tending to its roots keeping itself alive.” 

THE ALCHEMIST

Ok, this possibly the most hyped book by him internationally. Even my mother who gave up being an avid reader due to mere self-proclaimation of her level of laziness as she ages ; knew about this book by word of mouth just from the title. 

This book is not for the ones seeking immediate clarification, logical explanations and lightness. It is a slow paced story with interesting metaphors , in fact, the whole book is a metaphor and only if you understood the reason for being of this book, then will you realise with new fresh eyes that Paulo was describing himself, his life in metaphors and he leads you to see Robert Frost's poem The Road Not Taken which inevitably could go wrong as you journey in the middle of that road however , what you seek for in life only reveals itself at the end------surprisingly it is closer to home than you could ever imagine.

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.” 

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.”

I have mixed feelings for this book. Overall it was a moderately good book written in a poem style however, it lack depth to me. If was a bit deeper , in terms of the main character, I would utterly love this book. 

There are however a few instances where you could find some good excerpts or quotes from her.

“And the pomegranates,/
like memories, are bittersweet/
as we huddle together,/
remembering just how good/
life used to be” 

Okay, by comparison, you get why I love Paulo Coelho so much? His writing style has so much depth that its lyrical, filled with melancholy, like a music script written by Mozart, untainted beauty, the epitome of purity and innocence even when one is being abused and raped by the world each day.

The Dilemma of A Misunderstood Being

Hello dear humans

Somehow in my planet which apparently doesn't seem nor feel like Earth,

Being an only child feels like a crime

Especially among your friends living in a house filled with numerous annoying specimens called siblings.

I am not condemning anyone nor am I justifying how majestic and innocent  holier than thou only childs are.

I am sharing a thought, an opinion on how people generally see an only child .

The things I,  a Blogger and Only Child experienced

1. YOU ARE BLOODY PRIVILEGED.

I am really pissed when some people think I can afford everything just because I get more than the usual kid next door.

It's called good shopping tactics during sales.

2. YOU ARE ONLY TWO DIMENSIONAL.

Life happens to everyone, some learn earlier the harshness of reality due to circumstances while others will only learn it much later.

The main idea is understand that everyone will eventually grow in depth when both the good and bad occurs in each of our lives.

Do not assume an only child doesn't understand your hardships with your siblings etc etc.

3. YOU ARE SPOILED

Yes, we are because our parents only have one kid to pour out their love to, you can't blame us.

We will eventually grow up and understand that money grows on trees but it only belongs to the government,banks and rich  sly douchebags 

4.YOU ARE IMMATURE

Really now? I have seen and met immature people whom have to suffer the annoyance of siblings day and night.

My Conclusion:

Humans are flawed, and we each need to remember this from time to time. We need people to point out our flaws so it can be corrected. Never deem yourself superior over anyone.

Your achievements academically, socially and intellectually are not your true value.

Open your minds and heart. Be understanding. Learn from experience and the people around you.

Listen to their stories, let them listen to yours and from there upgrade to level 1000 in life.

Everyone have unspoken problems.

Don't judge the outside and the surfaces of their insides.

“How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.” 

Steve Maraboli

“If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” 

 Paulo Coelho

Freedom is an Ilusion

Freedom

the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

Words brought actions into play

In between those two words are thoughts.

It is thoughts that slowly blooms into actions.

There are two sides to it.

One adds kerosene to a fire and another consists of random thoughts.

When you were a child, let's say a child from a loving middle class family, 

you enjoyed what little freedom you had.

All the stupid things and words 

Did and said

was forgivable.

Life hadn't taught you that words have consequences.

Actions are elicited by words. 

Hence, I see words far superior than actions as it is, 

the power to awaken both the bad and good emotions humanly possible.

From the words of our mouths,to the emotions it gave rise,

Comes the actions.

When you grew up, became like any adolescent who proclaimed love for the opposite sex,

tried every sexual desires and curiosity buried deep within,

Had your first love, which broke your fragile young naive heart, 

Remember he or she broke it with words?

When you are an adult, heart heavy with regrets, past  lost opportunities and lost loves.

You feel constrained, shackled and restrained in your actions,words,opinions and thoughts.

Life becomes a list of debts, despair,broken relationships, failed dreams,faltered dreams,disappointments,insults,insinuations,oppression,depression,secrets,desperation,exasperation,lies,and deceit. 

Have we ever felt freedom?

Being 18 and free to do almost everything

Is not true freedom,

I once thought this is freedom, hanging out with friends, drinking a bit here and there (nothing severe or wild),

getting piercings my parents didn't know about 

was freedom.

I thought having a licence which entitled you to the freedom of driving to your hearts content was freedom

It never was freedom

You had to work to pay for petrol

Pay the road tax and toll.

Freedom of trade is precisely freedom of trade and no other freedom because within it the nature of the trade develops unhindered according to the inner rules of its life. Freedom of the courts is freedom of the courts if they follow their own inherent laws of right and not those of some other sphere, such as religion. Every particular sphere of freedom is the freedom of a particular sphere, just as every particular mode of life is the mode of life of a particular nature.

Karl Marx

Quoting from Marx, the topic freedom is a difficult one as to him there is freedom which only lies within a certain group or organisation or workplace.

Yet, I can't seem to completely agree with him. Even within each sphere therein lies the freedom to operate however they want according to their own personal profits.

What about the freedom of an individual?

My country is a hub for human trafficking

Tell me what is freedom?

Do women have freedom?
Do children have freedom?

Is there freedom to live out your lives ?

I do not see freedom in countries filled with political turmoils, constrained by religion and male chauvinist cultures.

Reality hinders freedom 

Yet, people hinder each others' freedom even further.

I may speak of freedom but I do understand that with complete freedom ,chaos exists.

Sometimes, its not freedom of the life we live .

The restrictive life.

We can attain freedom of the heart, our soul.

Are we freed from our past?

I am not

Hence, I may have the freedom to act,speak and think but there is nothing I could change about my past.
Freedom is an Illusion.


I want to redeem my past with the present which will alter the future.
The thing about the past are the memories that brought joy,sorrow,disappointments and worst of them all is helplessness.
You would carve out your own heart just to ask for forgiveness and to change the past.
I am on a journey to attain freedom of my soul.
To correct my past regrets, to forgive myself and forgive the pain others inflict on me.


If I succeed, then to me that's my freedom.
Maybe to others, freedom is the escapism from the iron grip of politics,politicians and the people who clamped down on their wings to fly in the blue sky.



In truth, the only thing in life that enjoys freedom is Love.

A Sophisticated Lady Must Have Culinary Skills!

How to Be a Sophisticated Lady

(p.s. This is utter bullshit by NaomiNaoko but good usable bullshit)

I come from an all girls high school  which automatically gets girls like us into a mental category of "prim and proper possible lesbian girls" in a dude's mind.

When guys meet us, especially ones which are drop dead gorgeous with every perfection of their dream Barbie girl, they assume we can cook, be all womanly and sophisticated.

Let's laugh together.

We tend to act like we have 10 brothers before our birth. Not exactly gentle.

An apt example would be me.

I am a clumsy fool who can't cook.

Lived as I was until I turned 19 and felt---------- heck, I need to be more womanly.

Exude that sophisticated , not overpowering but subtle sexiness every confident woman owns.

Here in lies my journey into burning some vegetables, over adding salt, sugar and wine into my dishes.

Couple of times I almost tripped myself on the kitchen floor. Couple more I almost dropped my bowls.

If someone took a video of me cutting my vegetables, let's laugh together again.

Thought I am looking more like Masterchef Australia each day.

I am more of  'Unexpectedly clumsy chef '

My ego got hurt by  my Masterchef Grandma.

In a way, the perspicacity of her remarks will teach me not only to be a good cook,but a highly tolerant person towards insinuating people.

I will cook my following meal, solo. Without the grandma eagle eyeing my cooking style.

This is my grand master plan :

To learn and change profoundly for the better good of myself.To move forward and never look back and live in the present. I must achieve this once my newly short hair grows out back to Sleeping Beauty length and before my parents pack me away for university.

The following are the vegetarian dishes I choose to cook over the weekend.

I will take pictures of the outcome.For now, let's preview what I will cook.

Yes, I am ambitious but I also won't give in to negativity.

Being in an all girls school specifically mine, we are trained to go after dreams in life. We won't back down.

Plus, I really need to mature into a sophisticated lady with good culinary skills.

I doubt there are any guys  like my dad who would accept a lazy rough wifey.

The essence of my being and character are still there but self improvements never hurt.

Ingredients for cooking Western food are very expensive, so choose receipes within your budget and capabilities.

Thank you weak buying power of  Malaysian Ringgit.

I plan to calm my nerves, increase level of swag-ness by playing my favourite playlists in the kitchen as I cook.

Preview of my playlist

1. II Mundo -Jimmy Fontana

2.Riptide-Vane Joy

3. La Valse d'Amelie - Yann Tiersen

4.Sur le fil -Yann Tiersen

5.Naomi - Yann Tiersen (Cascade Street )

6.J'y suis jamais allè - Yann Tiersen

Living life.

Life

What make youths naive is the fear of taking risks. The fear of asking and knowing how to work your way to get what you want. 

I am one of those. But I have also learned that even if you failed while taking risks, its not failure. Its never failure unless you stopped picking yourself up every time you fall.

I met some people heading towards a suicidal direction. They  only think of how to make money, not just a minimum wage salary but an amount of a millionare. They have this mentality that their partners involved in the business idea are trustworthy even if it means investing your own savings into it. They only dream of owning a Maserati, Porsche, Audi, Bentley,Rolls Royce and etc. With a stack of money in hand, they could buy the world, buy women and live life. Ask yourself this, are your conscience clear once you find yourself on your deathbed a few decades down the road? Have you done things you regret, lost the person you love to materialistic things?

 Enjoy dying without any real friends and family you pushed away.

To me, I live for myself and repay those who supported me all the way. 

I want to experience everything and do what my heart tells me.

I want to be less selfish and more selfless.

I want to be willing to sacrifice my life for the greater good of others.

When you work for the life you want even if plans do not follow through always,

you can still collect every piece of happiness, disappointment, tears,laughter and moments ,then place them in a glass jar. 

Of course I do not have any rights on nagging people about how to live their life however, think of it as a blogger, your everyday human blogger ranting out her thoughts.It doesn't matter if you agree or disagree with me, what does matter is that there is a mutual understanding of respecting and accepting differing views between the blogger and reader.

I have always been a coward however, recently, I lost someone,hence I am taking more risks in life. I have nothing to lose. I need to evolve just as how caterpillars metamorphosised into butterflies. 

There are a few to-do things in my life, I may add more as the years past.

1.Paragliding in Austria,Switzerland(if there is one there) and somewhere with a beautiful beach and deep blue sea.

2.Jet-skiing

3.The roller coaster in Japan which is 90 degrees towards the ground

4.Earn enough money to travel around with friends

5. Earn enough money to bring my parents and grandparents for holidays before old age steals away their opportunity

6.To love someone again 

7.Read as many books my lifetime will allow

8.Learn as much new things, skills, languages and etc

9. Step out of my comfort zone more

10. To build a house and life together with that special someone

(this includes painting the walls of our house together, sleeping on the floor together with paint stained clothes, looking into each others eyes, kissing right there on the floor, and telling each other you are the one  I want to go on an adventure with.)

11. Do DIY stuff for the house. (furniture, interior design and etc)

12. To have the job that suits me.

13. To know what I want to do with my life

14. To be independent and responsible

15. To scream in joy with my close friends once we achieved what we dreamed of together.

16. To live in the present, let the past make me a better version of myself and let the future be.

17. To continue blogging

18.Write my own novel. Literary novel. 

19. Go to Bali and try out that ride which ejects you out in a tube.

20.Sexy body from hard work. Exercising and disciplining myself.

21.Hike my way up Nepal with Dad.

Over the month or so, I experienced more than I could have planned for. I felt fear and exhilaration for the unknown possibilities when I choose to step out of my comfort zone. I have nothing to lose.

I enjoyed the moments of being a daredevil with my friends. 

Overall, I had grown as a person. I want to grow more, enjoy everything and be grateful for the little things I take for granted.

I may not have an affirmative direction in life right now but I sense it's near. It's coming. Do not fear. Do not back out into the comfort zone again. Instead, take those toes into the region of risks, and never turn back.

Learn to Live.